Water Out of Sunlight
by Helike
Summary: A longer collection of short stories and drabbles about Shisui Uchiha who is propbably the most mysterious character in the series. Some other characters might be mentioned. Fourth story added: "Reflections on the Water". Shisui, Itachi.
1. Mirror

A gift drabble for wonderful **Dayadhvam **:heart: More to be written soon.  
Prompt given: mirror

**I do not own Naruto.**

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**Mirror**

He is fascinated with water, he has always been. It could be because of his name, but the reason might be completely different as well. He treasures all these moments spent at the river, when he sits on the riverbank and just looks at water, deeply admiring how its colour changes depending on the weather, the season or the sunlight.

But today is different. Everything is bathed in a pale light of the Moon and when sometimes its silver surface is covered by clouds moving slowly through the sky, the shadows start their play at the riverbank.

He's standing on the water, watching tiny waves formed by gentle gusts of wind and patterns that water forms around his feet.

The water is like a mirror, reflecting the Moon and starry sky above him and the man who stands before him.

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TBC

Yup, there will be more longer stories and drabbles like this one, all of them about Shisui. He deserved it. Wanna suggest a prompt? Go ahead.


	2. At Nakano River

**Characters:** Shisui, Itachi  
**Genre:** General  
**Rating:** PG/K  
**Word count:** 971 (more less)  
**Warnings:** Not really. The story isn't spoilerish if you know who Shisui is. There are some hints to the revelations of the latest chapters, but these are not clearly noticeable. However, the story makes more sense if you know what Itachi told Sasuke about the clan.  
**Summary:** Under starry sky they both meet at Nakano River. It's just a meeting, like all these meetings they have already had, but this one is... different. Nothing can stop changes, however, Itachi is not the only one that has changed...  
**I do not own Naruto.** If I did, it would be a completely different story. 

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**At Nakano River **

The place is peaceful; peaceful to the point it seems to be almost impossible and that might be the reason why Shisui loves it so much. There is a short moment when he thinks that if he ever was to choose in what way he'd like to die, he would like it to happen _here_. He wonders how it would be to feel cold waters of Nakano River closing around his body, _embracing him_, and for a short while he lets himself get lost in his thoughts.

Time seems to lose its meaning and it's as if in some way it stopped existing at all. The gentle gusts of wind keep forming waves on the water surface and play with his hair. Leaves rustle silently as if whispering about some secret matters not known to everyone. A few clouds move lazily through the starry sky and when they happen to cover the silver surface of the moon, shadows change their shapes and move in a completely unpredictable way, turning this peaceful place into a part of some illusionary world he can barely recognize. Then the clouds are gone, the moon starts to shine and everything is bathed in its silver light again.

How long have they been standing in this way – he, looking at water and pondering, and him, just standing there and saying nothing? Seconds? Minutes? Hours? Shisui couldn't say, however, some silent voice in his head whispers that it's been no more than five minutes. Five minutes only, but it feels like ages to him.

'Still can't get rid of this old habit of yours?'

Itachi finally breaks the silence and Shisui is somewhat surprised that the boy hasn't done it earlier, as that silence has become somewhat awkward, tiring and in some way almost... scary. The thought itself is rather disturbing and makes him think about all these things that have changed so far.

He raises his head slowly and glances at the boy. No, not "a boy", the man rather, he corrects himself, as Itachi stopped being a boy once he was accepted into ANBU. He quickly notices that Itachi looks tired; so tired that for a short while Shisui feels a twinge of guilt for having insisted on the meeting on this day and at this hour, but the feeling quickly disappears.

He continues to watch the boy and he knows he's being watched as well. Itachi's face is a bit paler than usual and Shisui is sure that these strange shadows under his eyes are not only the result of the moonlight, but also an effect of Itachi's taking difficult missions. Yet even though exhausted, he is still wary and his dark eyes are focused on Shisui, as if he expected something to happen.

He's changed a lot, Shisui realizes. They've both changed, but it's not something that could be avoided. Shisui knows that with every day that passes by there is less and less of that old Itachi left. There are moments when he wonders what happened to that boy who used to come to ask him, his "older brother", to teach him some new technique or to train with him, but he knows the answer. ANBU changes everyone and, although Itachi never says anything, there are moments when he seems to struggle inside as if fighting with himself. Yet Itachi says nothing and Shisui has never asked.

_Itachi is not the only one that has changed._

The thought appears in his mind out of nowhere and for some reason it makes him avert his eyes in order not to look at Itachi directly as it's not something that he could manage at the moment.

He wonders if Itachi can notice the change. Shisui knows he's changed, as no one in the clan can be the same anymore once the truth, _that truth_, is revealed. Once it has happened, nothing is the same, even the way they look at this world and one another. And even Shisui happens to be afraid that one day he'll not be strong enough to go against the path that has been decided long before his birth and he'll give in, following into darkness that many before him have chosen.

All of sudden he feels tired; too tired to think or to do anything. He watches Itachi, wondering when he finds out the truth as well and what his reaction will be then. Should it be him, Shisui, that would reveal it to Itachi? That would warn him about things that might happen?

The older Uchiha moves his eyes to water again. The stars reflect in the water like in a gigantic mirror and there is something calming about this view. In that moment, under that starry sky one decision is made; the decision about things that should be done and said.

'Let us fight, Itachi,' he says and smiles at his cousin. 'Let us fight like we used to do that.'

There is a glint of surprise in Itachi's eyes, but he says nothing and takes a kunai in his hand instead. He closes his eyes for a short while and when he opens them again there is a flash of crimson in them; the sign that his Sharingan has been activated. He could start the fight, but he stands still, the hand clutching on the kunai, and waits for Shisui to move.

For some reason Shisui's smile is even wider when he sees it. It's as it used to be, but today is different. He watches Itachi and Itachi watches him and suddenly both of them start to move in the same moment. The fight has begun and there is no time to ponder on anything anymore. There is only one thought left.

_Let us fight in this way, Itachi, until one day we meet to fight to the end.  
_

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THE END

**A/N:** ummm... to Shisui's words about the path. I checked the raw - Shisui's suicide note says: _I can't go against the path any longer._ Thank you, translators, for changing the meaning D:

More stories to be written soon. 


	3. Unspoken

**Rating:** PGish/PG-13 (if using one "bad" word makes it PG-13.)  
**Characters:** Itachi, Shisui  
**Genres:** General with bits of humour and angst  
**Word count:** 1740  
**Summary:** There are questions that have to be asked and answers that should be given. There are things that Shisui wants to know and things that Itachi can't say.  
**Disclaimer: Naruto and its characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto.**

* * *

**Unspoken**

I'm sitting on the floor, surrounded by my equipment, and doing what every shinobi should do every few days and, obligatory, after every mission unless said shinobi wants to die. For over one hour I've been sharpening my weaponry, oiling it when necessary and polishing it.

And for all this time Itachi has been occupying the windowsill and watching me or the street below, depending on what seems to be more interesting at the moment. That's right – he's just sitting there, leaning against the frame, and – no matter how impossible it might sound – he's said a few words only since he came to visit me about one hour ago. Do you find it strange? I don't, but after all I know him well.

In fact, you shouldn't be surprised. Uchihas don't talk much by nature... unless said Uchiha is Inabi, who does talk a lot and most of what he says makes little sense, but he's an exception. Usually we say a few words only and some of us even seem to believe that hn-ing people and glaring at them will do the rest.

Assuming, we don't talk much, but even in this comparison Itachi is just... special. Definitely – "special" would be a good word here. He's quiet and he's always been like that. He never says more than a few words unless he's greatly interested in the subject or simply irked by something, but at least he doesn't glare at anyone.

Taking into consideration this characteristic trait of us all, it is quite possible that we could sit like that, not talking to each other, for hours – and I assure you that it wouldn't bother us much – but Itachi decides to break the silence.

"Would you cry if I died, Shisui?" he asks all of sudden.

I'm so focused on polishing one of my kunai that it takes me a while to realize what he's _really_ asking about.

_Would I... WHAT?! Ouch!_

I'm taken by surprise and, obviously, the kunai _has to_ slip and cut my hand. Way to go for you, Shisui. Way to go.

"Oh... Crap..." I curse under my breath, feeling like an idiot, as I haven't cut myself like that for ages and well... I was a child last time it happened. "What kind of a question was that?!" I glare at the "cause" of my little accident.

"Just a question," Itachi, obviously immune to my glares, shrugs and moves his eyes to the street. "You haven't answered."

"Geeez..." I wince and try to stop the bleeding before I stain something, as it definitely would not please my mother if she had to clean it. "Of course I would, you're like my brother, remember? But now excuse me, but I have something to deal with."

I'm still looking around trying to find something that I could use as a temporary dressing when Itachi kneels down by my side and takes my hand. He quickly cleans the wound and starts to bandage it. I only blink seeing what my cousin is doing. Incredible... Does this kid carry the first-aid set _everywhere_ with him?

"There is no need to cut oneself because of such a question," he says, still focused on bandaging. "If you really want to kill yourself, choose some less bloody way."

"In that case I'll drown myself, thank you," I blurt out and scowl at him and... almost immediately I regret the words, because Itachi stiffens after hearing them.

It's then that I finally realize how much Itachi has changed. The boy I remember would smirk while teasing me about my having cut myself and he definitely wouldn't react in such a way to the stupid joke I've just made. He would call me an idiot instead or give me one of these looks that say more than words. Definitely, Itachi has changed, but you know what's worse? The change didn't happen days or weeks ago, but months rather and I failed to notice it. What a big brother I am, I wonder.

I keep watching Itachi while he, after finishing bandaging my hand, collects my weapons and puts them all in a neat pile. He's taller – not a surprise here – and he seems to be... more mature. Yes, mature is a good word. Then I discover a few other things.

Now it's not so difficult to notice that he's tired. Or maybe even exhausted. His skin is paler than usual and there are dark shadows under his eyes. If you were to ask me, I'd tell you that he looks like someone who hasn't slept much for last few days and maybe it's not so far from the truth. Since he became a chuunin, he's been sent on one mission after another, and now there is this ANBU stuff – it's been three weeks already since Itachi joined them. Easy life, isn't it? Let me be sarcastic for a while.  
"Thanks for that," I raise my neatly bandaged hand. "And sorry for the joke."

Itachi waves, but he says no word, and continues his little "let's tidy it up a bit" mission. I don't oppose and let him do what he wants. I lean against my bed and keep observing Itachi, still thinking about the things I've just realized.

"Say, Itachi... Did anything happen?" I ask after a short while and glance at my cousin, checking his reaction.

Itachi actually freezes and slowly turns in my direction.

"No, nothing happened," he answers after a while.

The way he says the words is casual, but Itachi has never been good at lying and even now I can see that he's hiding something as he averts his eyes from my face while speaking. I ponder on it for a while. Itachi doesn't like lying, so whatever it is, whatever that thing he hides might be, it's something he's not allowed to talk about. And that can mean one thing only.

"It's ANBU, isn't? Something has happened there," I whisper.

Itachi doesn't answer, but there is something about the way he stands in front of me, about the way in which he hangs his head, that makes him look like a boy. I mean... he is a boy, he'll turn eleven soon, but he's never looked like that before. This reaction confirms my suspicions.

"Are these missions really that... bad?" I ask him finally, although maybe I shouldn't. Talking about all that ANBU related stuff now, when it's obvious that there is something that he can't forget about, is like torturing him even more.

Itachi gives me _a look_ – it's one of these few things about Itachi that hasn't changed and never will; I could bet about it – and only stands there gazing at me for some time before he finally answers.

"They're... different," he whispers, his voice flat and tired. He turns away, but I catch a glimpse of his face and can see how for a short moment that mask of his falls apart, partially revealing what Itachi couldn't say.

Only once I've seen such a look on somebody's face. A few years ago, just after the war broke out, I met one man. I don't really know what had happened to him, and I'm not sure if I really want to know it, as the man looked as if he had died in some way. Back then I though that the man must have seen something that no one should ever see – hell on earth – and maybe my guess wasn't that far away from the truth.

Now my own cousin is looking at me in exactly the same way and there is only one word I could use to describe what I see in his eyes. It's darkness.

"Different, huh? What a nice euphemism you found, Itachi," I think while rubbing my forehead.

For a short while I feel anger, although I'm not sure with whom I should be angry in fact. With the village for making Itachi ANBU at the age of ten even though people twice as old as Itachi happen to snap because of this job? With my own clan for pushing Itachi harder and further with every day? Or with myself for seeing it all and doing nothing just because I'm not strong enough to react? It's a dead end. A real dead end here.

Once again we're sitting in silence, but that strange mood created by Itachi's question is affecting me as well.

"Listen, Itachi..." I finally decide to speak, but stop after a short while.

Itachi doesn't look at me, but focuses his attention on something he can see through the window. There is something about his pose, though, something in the way in which his head is slightly tilted – as if he tried to look at me over his shoulder – that makes it obvious that he's waiting for me to finish the sentence.

"If something happened..." I clear my throat trying to say what I want to say, but the words don't come.

"If anything happened to me," I make another try and this time it all goes better, "if I died..."

I shudder after saying it, as there is something ominous about these words.

"Obviously it's not that that I plan to die anytime soon," I add quickly and it feels as if was trying to convince myself, not Itachi, that it won't happen. "But if I did... Would you mourn me? Would you... cry over me?"

Itachi stiffens and his hand clutches on the windowsill. He says no word and for a while I think that he'll just ignore the question.

"Shinobis never cry," finally the answer comes.

Don't blame me for feeling hurt after hearing that. Even if it's the rule we are to follow, even if Itachi is the clan heir and he is not allowed to cry in _any_ situation, these words... sting. Is it so bad to expect that somebody will actually feel sad when you're dead, no matter if you're a shinobi or not? Shinobis also are humans after all.

"But..." to my great surprise Itachi continues the thought after a short while. "I'd find a way to do it... I'd mourn you in my own way."

I shake my head and smile when I hear the words. Well... that's Itachi for you – in the end his answers not always are what you'd expect them to be and sometimes you can't even understand them.

Itachi always does everything in his own way.

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THE END

**A/N:** Inabi is also a canon character :P It's that long-haired man from the (in)famous police trio that interrogated Itachi afer Shisui's death.


	4. Reflections on the Water

It's been quite a long time since I came up with the idea of this story. It shows the Uchiha "brothers": Shisui and Itachi. Actually we know nothing about their relationship and I'd like to believe that what was suggested in the manga is true and that Shisui indeed was a good "big" brother. Hopefully M. Kishimoto will not surprise us with another plot twist D: So that's a story of the "brothers" – from the beginning to the end.

**Rating:** PG/K+

**Genre: **General/Drama

**Warnings**: Not spoilerish if you know who Shisui was. I admit that working on Itachi's personality I used the recent developments, but even if you haven't read the latest chapters, you can't just assume that Itachi was born evil :sweatdrop: Also... The story is slightly AU-ish for what is suggested in the last part.

Author's notes at the bottom.

**I do not own Naruto.**

* * *

**REFLECTIONS ON THE WATER**

1.

This child, this little baby boy lying in the cradle, is strange. That's the first thought that comes to Shisui's mind when he sees his little cousin for the first time.

The boy doesn't cry like Yuriko, his other cousin, often does. He doesn't laugh, gurgle or make any other funny noises that little children usually do. He also doesn't give Shisui one of these strange smiles that the son of one of his mother's friends gives him; the smiles that make him feel somewhat uneasy as that baby hasn't got any teeth yet. No... This baby is just lying quietly in his cradle and watching his surrounding instead.

Shisui's curious glance slides over the little boy. Obviously, the baby looks like any other baby would. He's tiny, much smaller than Shisui, even though Shisui is still a child as he turned five just a few months ago. The baby's skin is somewhat pale and his hair is dark – not a surprise here, because he looks like many of Shisui's aunts, uncles and cousins and Shisui himself. Only the eyes are different – dark just like Shisui's, but bigger; much bigger than any other child's he's ever seen.

For some reason these eyes are now focused on Shisui, and – despite being a big boy that fears nothing and no one... maybe except for these shadows that happen to gather in the corner of his room sometimes – Shisui feels somewhat uneasy. After all it's not normal that such a little child looks at other people in such a way.

Hesitantly, Shisui reaches out and lightly touches the little hand, hoping that maybe in this way he'll manage to turn the baby's attention to something else and the baby will stop staring at him.

In some way he succeeds. The baby's gaze moves to his hand, the baby's tiny hand moves and little, somewhat chubby fingers clutch around his finger. Shisui's hand isn't big, but the baby's hand is even smaller and this view – the baby's hand together with his hand – evokes some feeling that Shisui can't name, but whatever the feeling is, it's not unpleasant.

A faint smile flickers across his face and he turns his eyes to the baby's face.

"Even if you don't know who I am, I know who you are," he finally announces. "You're my little cousin and your name is Itachi. They said that you'll be someone important one day."

For some reason Itachi seems to listen to him intently. His head is tilted and his eyes are focused on Shisui again. But now even that strange gaze doesn't seem to make any impression on Shisui anymore – _something_ has changed.

"I'm older than you and soon I'm going to the Academy," Shisui continues after a short while, with a serious expression on his face. "I'm not really sure what exactly that Academy is, but everyone says that it will make me stronger." He pauses, wondering what else he could say.

"He likes you." A quiet, familiar voice comes from behind his back.

He flinches, feeling rather surprised, as he hasn't noticed that his aunt has entered the room, but he doesn't frees his hand from Itachi's "grip".

"Likes me?" He stares at her blankly when she comes closer to him and stops by his side.

"Yes, he does." Her glance rests on Itachi and a warm smile appears on her face. "He's even smiling at you."

Smiling?

Shisui knits his eyebrows and moves his eyes to Itachi, trying to find some trace of that smile mentioned by his aunt, but Itachi looks just like he did a few seconds ago – he gazes at Shisui and well... maybe he squints a bit, nothing more. Then Itachi's gaze moves to his mother, but his expression doesn't change.

Mikoto strokes Shisui's hair and smiles when Shisui casts a glance at her.

"You're a big boy, Shisui," she says, "older and stronger than him. As he is now, he needs your help. Will you take care of Itachi?"

Shisui stares at her for a while, not really sure how to answer such a question. Finally he makes his decision.

"I will." He declares, all of sudden feeling like a really important person.

A gentle smile plays across Mikoto's lips in the response to his words. Her hand slides from Shisui's head and rests on his shoulder.

Shisui turns to Itachi and watches him for a while. He knits his eyebrows and a thoughtful expression appears on his face. Finally he leans over the cradle.

"I know you, but you don't know me," he says. "I'm Shisui. And you know what? From now on I'll be your big brother."

His face breaks in a wide grin and Itachi squints in the response.

2.

He comes across Itachi when he's coming back from the Academy. His cousin is sitting on the bench and watching other children play. Itachi's face is serious, maybe even too serious, and it's then that Shisui realizes that it's been a while since he saw Itachi smile.

What surprises him the most, however, is the feeling that Itachi gives. The boy seems to be waiting for something... or maybe not waiting. It's as if he was expecting something to happen and prepared himself to react immediately if it did. Shisui's shakes his head – Itachi might be almost five years old, but he's already started to behave in exactly the same way that his uncles and cousins do every time they are on a mission.

For one more while he stands there, watching Itachi, before he finally decides to join the boy. When he's a few metres away from the bench, he can see Itachi flinch – the only sign indicating that Itachi has noticed his presence – but the boy doesn't turn to greet him. Shisui shrugs – that's Itachi for you if you really need to know – and saying no word he sits down on the bench. Now they both are sitting and watching playing children and none of them seems to be eager to break the silence.

After a short while Shisui starts to watch Itachi from the corner of his eyes. He can't say if Itachi realizes that he's being watched or not, but even if he does, he doesn't react to that observation.

Shisui suppresses a sigh. He's never been really good at reading his little cousin's expressions and he'll never be probably. There always are things hidden deep inside, barely noticeable and hard to understand, and even though Shisui might be much better at noticing and reading them than most people he knows, sometimes even he can't say what Itachi might think about.

This time, however, some quiet voice in Shisui's head whispers that Itachi has been deeply thinking about something and that there is something that bothers him.

"Do you want to play with them?" Shisui finally asks, feeling tired of the odd situation they somehow managed to get themselves into.

"I don't." Itachi's answer comes after a short while. "It's... better in this way."

Shisui nods. Somehow he doesn't feel surprised hearing such a reply. Even though Itachi doesn't avoid other children, he rarely plays with them, choosing Shisui's company instead. Itachi is quiet, calm and seems to be _mature_ – even Shisui can say that his behaviour stands out if compared to the way in which other children behave – and that's what seems to confuse his contemporaries a lot.

He can't really tell what the reason of Itachi's behaviour is – he still remembers that one year ago Itachi, even though still calm and quiet, was not _that_ quiet – but he suspects that it might be related to something that happened about a few months ago, but which details are unknown to him.

Actually, he remembers that on the same day one of his classmates lost her father, the other one his older brother and that one of his cousins came back from the hospital a few days later. Something happened quite close to Konoha back then, something that was definitely related to the war that has just ended, but Shisui can't figure out in what way what happened to Itachi might be connected to what happened to those people on that day. Whatever it was, however, it has changed Itachi, in some way making him more withdrawn from this world, and it still brings worried expression to Mikoto's face when she looks at her son and thinks that nobody can see her.

"I've been thinking." Itachi continues after a short while. He turns to Shisui and his eyes focus on Shisui's face.

Shisui flinches. When Itachi stares at him like that, it almost feels as if these dark eyes bore into him, trying to see everything that Shisui thinks or tries to hide deep in his heart. Shisui is nine years old and he fears nothing and no one – well... maybe except for his teacher scolding him for inappropriate behaviour – but he definitely feels uneasy when Itachi's attention is focused on him in such a way.

"I wonder how it is to have a sibling," Itachi announces.

"A sibling?" Shisui gapes at him for quite a long while. "But why?"

"I'm going to have a little brother," Itachi states as if it should be obvious to Shisui.

A brother?

For some reason the news is almost shocking. It's then that he finally realizes how seriously he's taken all that "being a big brother" stuff and he can't really explain how he feels about this right now. There is some sadness mixed with an unpleasant feeling of being betrayed. There is also some jealousy mixing with something else... something that he can't even describe or identify. He feels unneeded and unwanted, because now... Itachi is going to have a brother – a real one not just a mere substitute in the form of Shisui, who is only his cousin after all – and everything will change. A sudden stab of pain shoots through his chest, but it quickly disappears, replaced by a twinge of guilt when Shisui realizes how selfish this way of thinking is.

"Nothing will change, Shisui," Itachi utters as if reading Shisui's mind and Shisui flinches hearing the words. "I might have a little brother, but you still will be my brother, too. The big one."

Once again the pair of dark eyes – the eyes that could well belong to a person much older than Itachi is – focuses on Shisui.

That's right. No matter what, nothing will change.

3.

Being twelve years old Shisui fears nothing and no one – except for his mother's anger maybe – but now... what he feels might be close to fear mixed with respect. There is no day that he isn't surprised by the progress that Itachi has made since they started to train together. There are moments when he wonders where the little boy that Itachi used to be – the boy who always looked up to him and would often come to him in order to have some new technique explained – disappeared, replaced by other Itachi; Itachi who seems to be someone else.

Now, despite the age difference between them, Itachi is much faster than most of Shisui's contemporaries are and he's getting better and better with every day that passes. Winning with Itachi requires more and more effort and soon even that pride that forces Shisui to do his best every time they spar – because it's really stupid to lose to someone that's five years younger than you are – will not be enough to save him from losing.

That's why Shisui narrows his eyes and focuses his mind on watching Itachi and trying to predict his next move. He dodges Itachi's attack, his kunai make a quiet clank when it's stopped by Itachi's kunai and they both jump back, once again focusing on observing each other.

Finally Itachi makes a mistake – his eyes flicker to the side, his body moves and for a while as short a blink of the eye there is an opening that Shisui decides to use. The Sharingan flashes in his eyes when he runs, deflects Itachi's blow and within seconds he's behind Itachi's back, pressing the kunai to Itachi's throat.

"The end," he declares.

Itachi stands still and makes no move. He only turns his head and watches Shisui from the corner of his eye.

"Not yet." Itachi says with a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

The alarm goes off in Shisui's head, but it's too late. There is a bang, he sees some flash and the next thing he realizes is pain he feels in his back and his head.

He's sitting under the tree, leaning against the trunk, and looks around not really sure how exactly he's got here as the last time he checked, he stood a few metres away from it.

"Now it _is_ the end," Itachi declares, standing in front of him with unreadable expression on his face. He reaches out and helps Shisui to stand up.

Shisui gapes at him for a longer while, still feeling rather dazed.

"What was that?" he blurts out, blinking.

"A clone." Itachi replies and shrugs. "It exploded."

Shisui's jaw drops.

"A clone? Exploded?" he repeats after Itachi, feeling rather dumfounded. "But Uchihas don't use clones in such a way..."

"Uchihas also don't use water-based techniques, but you use them more often than all fire-based ones that we know," Itachi points out, giving Shisui a _look_ – one of these looks that always result in Shisui's cheeks tinting red in a sign of intense embarrassment.

It's then that Shisui stops making up excuses – after all he, as a shinobi, should always be prepared and expect what is unexpected – and decides to analyze the situation. It's the first time that Itachi has defeated him. From now on nothing will be the same and maybe Shisui should start to getting used to the thought that his younger cousin – his little brother – will surpass him one day.

"Okay... You won..." He finally shakes his head, admitting his own defeat. "But don't think it will be so easy to defeat me next time."

"I can't wait to check it," Itachi declares with a smirk on his face.

Shisui glances at him, wondering if his own eyes shine with the same determination and enthusiasm that he can see in Itachi's eyes.

4.

He cast a brief glance on Itachi, who's lying on the grass just a few metres away from him. The boy is basking in the sun. His eyes are closed and he seems to be sleeping, but Shisui is sure that he's not.

It worries him in some way. Actually, they were supposed to be training, but when Shisui saw these dark shadows under Itachi's eyes, his weary face and the hunched shoulders, he suggested that they should postpone the training and do something else instead and... to his great surprise Itachi agreed. He did hope that in some way he would manage to force Itachi to rest, but all his efforts appeared to be wasted in the end.

A single sigh escapes him when he moves his eyes to the river. As usual gazing at the water puts him at ease and he starts to ponder on the things that have changed.

He's almost fifteen now. He fears nothing and no one – well he does happen to be afraid that a mission will go wrong, but it's not the same – yet sometimes there is _that_ feeling, hard to describe and to place. It's something that makes him wonder what might happen next day.

There is that uncertainty about the future, but there is some uncertainty about the present as well and sometimes Shisui can't say what worries him more.

He can see Itachi change. He sees how Itachi has become quieter and more withdrawn and starts to hides all his emotions behind that emotionless face of his. He sees it and can't blame Itachi for that, because he, Shisui, has also changed.

He's older, wiser, more experienced and now he notices and understands more. He also hides his feelings, but unlike Itachi he uses a smile as his mask, and, ironically, his method seems to be more effective. Whereas Itachi's emotionless face makes people wonder about what the boy tries to hide, no one suspects that Shisui might also hides something, even though sometimes his smile is definitely fake.

"Is what we do right?" All of sudden Itachi decides to break the silence.

Shisui stares at him blankly. "Means what exactly?"

"Killing." Itachi doesn't move, but he raises his hand, covering his eyes from the sunlight, and glances at Shisui.

Caught by surprise, Shisui is not sure what he should say.

"But it's our job, isn't it?" He starts hesitantly. "Shinobi is just a tool and does what he's paid for."

"But is it really right?" Itachi inquires; his eyes seem to bore into Shisui. "What differs us from people that we hunt for sometimes? In what way slaughtering a little village, because we've been ordered to do it is different from slaughtering the same village by some criminal?"

Shisui can't deny that there is some logic in what Itachi said. Killing is killing and although the example is rather extreme, he knows well enough that such things happen. What differs them in that case?

"Maybe it all is about reasons. Sometimes we have to do things we don't like, knowing that we might hurt somebody, but at the same time we know that in this way we can save much more people than we've hurt. It's like choosing the lesser evil. _We_ kill a few to save many, but _they_ kill for some selfish reasons." He finally answers, darting a brief glance at Itachi.

Well... Itachi definitely does not seem to be convinced and truth be told, Shisui doesn't really feel convinced, too. Ethics has never worked well in this world.

"Listen, Itachi," he adds after a while. "It's not like we always can do what we like and what we want. Killing for pleasure is not acceptable. Killing for a reason might be excusable. That's all."

Itachi closes his eyes and covers them with his hand.

"Sometimes it's better not to kill at all," Itachi mutters and Shisui smiles hearing the words.

Well... No matter what will happen, it doesn't seem that Itachi will ever join the group of these killing other people just because they feel like doing so. Itachi is Itachi... He always does things in his own way.

5.

He pants heavily, darting glances at Itachi, who, surprisingly, seems to be as tired as he is. Shisui's heart is still pounding in his chest, but his breathing is slowly coming back to normal when he wipes away sweat from his face and stretches out on the grass. After a short while Itachi decides to sit down by his side.

For a longer while they both sit in silence and Shisui doesn't really mind it. The day is warm and sunny and at the moment lying and basking in the sun place at the top of his list of little pleasures after the training. His eyes move, sliding over Itachi, the grass and the trees and finally he looks up, watching clouds moving through the sky. It's nice to lie and do nothing, but it appears to have some drawback as well. Now, that the training is over, his all worries are back.

There are moments when he regrets being born in this clan. There are moments when he looks back, trying to realize when exactly things went wrong. There are moments when he asks himself when their positions changed and when he started to be seen as more dependable, respected and loyal, whereas Itachi became the one whose position in the clan is questioned.

Shisui is sixteen now. He fears nothing and no one – except for losing what is important to him – but what happens in the clan scares him.

"They want me to spy on you," he finally utters. "They trust me, but they can't bring themselves to trust you. Even though you're everything they have ever wanted."

Itachi says nothing. There is no emotion on his face, but his shoulders hunch slightly.

For a short while Shisui wonders if Itachi knew it all along, if he suspected that it all would end in this way. But even if he suspected it, knowing that said suspicions are being proved right must hurt a lot.

"What are you going to do?" Itachi asks. He doesn't look at Shisui, but Shisui can feel some tension in the air.

In some way he's grateful that Itachi doesn't ask _why_ Shisui actually tells him what the clan demanded from him. There might be things that have changed, but apparently their friendship and mutual trust are not among them.

"Isn't it obvious?" Shisui replies. "There is no way I'd spy on my best friend. I'll refuse them."

Itachi jerks his head and turns to him. His eyes widen and for a short while Shisui can see some feeling, some emotion in them – shock and surprise mixed with something else that disappears before Shisui can identify it.

"No... Shisui, don't. You know what will happen..." For the first time in a long time Itachi lets his "mask" fall off his face, revealing worry hidden behind it. "Shisui... You can't go against the clan. At the moment none of us can. We're not strong enough to go against them."

Shisui smiles bitterly in the response and his fist clench so tightly that he's ready to bet that his knuckles have whitened. "So what do you expect me to do?"

"Do what they want." Itachi mutters. After that initial outburst of emotion he's back to his usual self – he's calm and collected like every perfect shinobi would be. "If I were to lose you..." he pauses and closes his eyes for a while. "I don't want it to happen."

"Itachi..." Shisui's voice breaks. "Do you realize what you want me to do?"

"I do." A quiet reply comes. Itachi turns to him, but Shisui can't read anything in his face. "After all it's not like we always can do what we like and what we want, remember?"

The words bring a sad smile to Shisui's face when he remembers the other afternoon spent at the river. If only they could be back to that time.

If only they could be back...

6.

Once again he looks at a piece of paper he holds in his hands. Once again his eyes move over the written lines. He's read them so many times that even if he hadn't written them, he would have already learnt them by heart.

_I'm tired of my duties. As it is there is no future for Uchihas. And for me. I can't go against the "way" any longer._

Just a few lines, a few words making little sense for most people that would read it after his death.

But not for him.

Shisui indeed is tired, but he's tired of that one, particular duty that makes him go against everything he believes in and betray his best friend. He's tired of that constant struggle between what he has to do and what he would want to do.

At the same time this sentence is the only part of his "letter" that makes him worry, because he's sure that even if many don't understand it, Itachi _will_ understand. And he doesn't really want Itachi to shoulder this blame, because it's his, Shisui's, fault for failing in such a way.

Itachi will also understand the other part. The clan that sees nothing except for its own safety and well-being will not last long in a society where clans lose its importance and it's "a nation" that starts to be more important. From a clan to a nation – that's a beautiful dream and Shisui knows that Itachi would gladly follow it, as he's always been able to see further than any other Uchiha. Shisui, however, is not strong enough to go against the clan and their way of seeing things.

No... it's too late for him.

He glances at the card again and puts it in the pocket. Then he rests his hands on the balustrade and looks down, at the river.

Maybe he should have never agreed to follow Itachi's suggestion. He's never expected it to be so difficult and painful to do what the clan wants from him, but now there is no other way.

_If only the things could be easier..._

He's almost seventeen now, but he feels much older. Maybe it's that tiredness that makes him feel in this way, maybe it's something else. At some point he has stopped to be afraid of anything. Emotions, losing things and people... Now he's not even afraid of death, in some way considering it to be his salvation if he ever becomes that desperate.

His hand brushes the fabric of the pocket in which the card is hidden. It's not that he really wants to make use of that card, but maybe he'll have to one day. For now he still has some faith and believes that maybe things will change. Besides, giving up now would mean leaving Itachi and letting him fight alone. That's something that Shisui doesn't want to happen.

Now, when he looks back at his life, he finds it rather amusing that for most of his life he's tried to protect Itachi, only recently realizing that it's been a long time since Itachi really needed his protection. Actually, recently their roles kind of switched and now it is more like he is being protected by his "little brother". It all proves that from them both it's Itachi that is stronger. What an irony... A big brother being protected by a little one. The big brother not being able to help the little one, even though he notices that said little brother has been struggling with something recently. The big brother that failed to ask the little one about the problems...

These thoughts are rather depressive and don't improve his mood. Trying to fight them back, he focuses his eyes and mind on the silver surface of the Moon and the starry sky reflected in the water. A weary sigh escapes him when he realizes that soon he should head toward the meeting place. For a short while he wonders if he could just skip the meeting. After all Itachi will also skip it as he's been on the mission, but unlike him Shisui has no good excuse explaining his absence, and they both agreed that Shisui should do nothing that would raise any suspicions.

Suddenly he frowns. The feeling of being watched that has accompanied him for a few weeks, but which he has considered to be his imagination only, is back. All of sudden he senses some traces of chakra and he turns to the direction it comes from. His eyes flash with crimson when he activates his Sharingan in a poor attempt of seeing through the darkness covering this place. Despite his tries he can't see who's been hiding there, but at least he can say that the person has not come here as a friend.

Shisui hands move slowly to the bag fastened to his belt and after a second he holds kunai in his hands. His eyes move around, scanning his surrounding.

"I'm sorry, Itachi," he mutters, finally noticing a black silhouette moving among the trees. "It might be that it all will end in this place."

* * *

THE END

_January 18 – 19, 2009_

**A/N:** I think that it's already been proven in the manga that obtaining the MS is more about feeling guilty about somebody's death than about killing per se. So... the ending is open. Feel free to speculate who exactly was at the Nakano River.

Shisui's letter was translated from Japanese by me. It's his letter from the manga. The word he originally used ("ninmu") might mean both, mission and duty.

Also... if you really need to know. Describing baby Itachi I kind of described the daughter of my co-worker. It's the quieter baby I've ever met.


End file.
